Farewell to a Good, Good Dog

From Miriam Hughes’ Facebook Page; Nov 15, 2019:

Hootie is going to the vet today. Something is just not right. For lack of a better description, he’s acting like a sulky teenager hiding in his room, rarely emerging for meals or breaks.

The post on Miriam ‘s Facebook page seemed innocuous enough. A beloved older dog slowing down and needing a little more TLC and more frequent visits to the vet. 

In reality, however, Miriam’s Facebook message was the first post in a four-month-long social media love letter. A love song composed by Miriam for a dog that came to occupy the greater part of a human’s heart by virtue of his loyalty, companionship, and ability to always be present for his human friend.

Nov 15: Hootie Health Update: Good news sort of. Hootie is mostly just old. He has a nonspecific case of anemia. I don't like facing his aging process any more than my own.

Hootie as a puppy

Miriam, a well-known artist living in Flat Rock,  met Hootie 13 years ago during a dog training class she was teaching in Valley Forge, PA. Just a puppy, Hootie arrived to class with his owner and immediately captivated Miriam’s heart.  “Hootie knew how to do everything right away and loved to learn,” explained Miriam. “When I was working with another puppy, Hootie would be right behind me following all the commands that the poor beleaguered puppy in front of me just wasn't getting. ‘Roll over’, I would say to the clueless little trainee. Meanwhile, behind my back, Hootie would be rolling over and over and over again.”

“Looking back I think he was trying to help the other dog learn and not be a class clown. His whole life Hootie has always made sure that the last hiker in the pack caught up, or the lonely dog in the corner had a friend sit with him.”

Nov 19: Hootie seems to be going downhill fast. I’ll know more this afternoon. Vet is checking in every day. He is old. Just not in my mind.  Not looking for advice or discussion, just keep us in your thoughts.

Hootie had been a Christmas present for his original owners. But the puppy was more work than the couple’s wife had expected and one of the grandchildren didn’t like him. The owner came to Miriam and asked if she could find Hootie a new home. 

Miriam agreed to keep Hootie for a couple of weeks to give the owner time to reconsider the decision. They did not reconsider and the rest is - as they say - history. “He was just such an awesome dog there was no way I was going to give him up,” Miriam says with a laugh.

Nov 23: Hootie is hanging in there. I bought him his own rotisserie chicken and hand feed him. Now we are now going for a rainy Saturday night ride. I love how Hootie knows what he wants right now!

Hootie was a Cavachon – a cross between the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and Bichon Frise.  Described as compact, spunky, and full of fun, Hootie lived up to the description of his breed. Miriam described him as a confident caring dog that was not overly needy. In short, the perfect companion for a busy artist.

Nov 27: He seems to be feeling better and is eating again. He is becoming more social but very aware of where I am every second.

Although she didn’t know it at the time, Miriam and Hootie had embarked upon an emotional roller coaster careening through good days and bad days. There would be weeks where Miriam felt the end was imminent, interspersed with days where the “young” Hootie re-emerged from an old dog’s withering body.

Ultimately, however, Miriam’s worst fears were confirmed.

Dec 3: Hootie does have an orange-sized sarcoma in his neck. So the next few weeks will be doing whatever he wants. And then hopefully I will know when to let him go. I am enormously sad but he has been an awesome sidekick, a loyal sibling, and a devoted friend. Bear with me as we try to give Hootie a great few weeks. Mostly having fun and laughing and loving him.

As the realization that Hootie’s days were numbered continued to sink in, Miriam saw that the nature of her relationship with her companion was also changing. He was the one who was dying, but Hootie seemed to instinctively know that he was not the only one who would need special attention. Hootie wanted to be there for Miriam.

Dec 9: Hootie just wanted a walk with me, alone, down our road and back. I get the feeling he is taking care of me as much as I am taking care of him during this transition. He is such a gentleman and really loves spending time with me just being together.

Hootie got his name from the popular band, Hootie and the Blowfish. His original owner was an orthopedic surgeon who treated a member of the famous band. In Miriam’s home, Hootie became a member of a different kind of band - a band of dogs that have continuously shared Miriam and her partner Doug’s home. Dogs like Jake, Spunky, Sunny, Moses. Sach Ben Brownie, and most recently Artie and Molly.  Hootie’s new sprawling family enjoyed the happy, chaotic energy of a household full of hounds and an artist with a boundless sea of creative ideas stretching to the horizons of her creativity.

Dec 14: I don’t want to get too excited but Hootie seems like he’s back to being himself. The tumor is still there and growing but for now I’ll take this voracious sweet puppy and feed him whatever he wants.

With time winding down, Miriam resolved to make Hootie’s last days as special as possible. He loved to swim and especially loved the ocean where he was an accomplished surfer - happily retrieving sticks and balls tossed beyond the waves and then riding those waves back to his waiting humans.  During the Christmas holidays, Miriam took her friend on one last trip to the beach.

Jan 2  Hootie hiked several miles a day, jumped waves and slept like a king. I think he had the perfect holiday. Doug thinks Hootie will now live forever but we may have to move to the beach for that to happen. Whatever. I’m just pleased he made it through the holiday.

Good days and bad days continued after the holidays. Miriam’s updates on Facebook were one way of dealing with the sadness. “It was cathartic. So many people have dogs and they die and it's really sad. I started sharing his journey because people really wanted to know. They wanted to make the journey with us.”

Shortly after the beach trip, Miriam decided it was time to formally make plans to let Hootie go. He was not eating. He was more lethargic. She didn’t want to let her friend simply waste away in a long, lingering trip to the inevitable.

Jan 5: Ever since Hootie overheard me make the call to the vet to set up an appointment to let him go, his health and well being has improved daily. I have no idea how long this will last, but I do know I am thrilled to still have this extra time. Whatever happens (and we know it will happen eventually) I feel this past month was a gift I will forever cherish. Hopefully, there will be more months of this resurgence of life, but I am willing to face the inevitable with a less heavy heart.

Once again Hootie rallied and his special friendship with Miriam was extended yet again. In the meantime, Miriam’s periodic posts about Hootie became something of a public vigil for her dying companion. Miriam’s many friends on social media became an integral part of the vigil watching over Hootie and their comments provided solace for Miriam during the most difficult days.

Jan 21 Someone tentatively asked me how Hootie was doing. Awkward I guess. Yes, Hootie is trucking along. So, for now, he is still alive and while not exactly kicking, he is ambling about very well and keeping his eyes on me at all times.

Hootie was clearly a fighter. Although desperately ill, he soldiered on. Refusing to leave Miriam’s side and retaining enough of his vitality to create more happy memories and allow Miriam to dare to think that somehow the end was not as near as she feared. Still, in those moments when she could be honest with herself, she could tell her old friend was slowly slipping away.

Feb 21: He’s doing well enough but I am missing his old personality so very very very much. It’s like he stopped laughing. But his tail still wags.

By early March, Hootie had lived much longer than Miriam ever expected. He was sleeping most of the day, but still had an appetite for his favorite treats.

Mar 21: He goes out a few times a day, mostly after midnight and I have to hand feed him his meals. I gave him a small bowl of ice cream. He pushed that bowl all over the bedroom floor licking it clean so I got him another bowl. Currently, he enjoys cherry vanilla.

Then the illusion that Hootie would live forever came, inevitably, to an end. Miriam’s “buddy” - the dog that followed her everywhere; the dog that slept quietly in the corner as she taught art classes; the dog who always made sure that no one got left behind during long hikes through the woods - had reached the end of his time with Miriam. After 13 years of devotion to the woman who had immediately recognized his exceptional worth, it was time to write the final chapter in Hootie's life.

Mar 30: He's only 13 and I had planned on a much longer life with him. I never planned on hearing his lungs rattle and choke as he tries to breathe. I never planned on him living on a diet of only strawberry ice cream and tiny bits of rotisserie chicken. I never planned on him not going absolutely everywhere with me all the time. I never planned on losing my identity as Hootie's mom. 

But today I am.

The next day, Miriam posted on Facebook. The journey was done.

3:31 Hootie, our oldest hiker, left for his next journey yesterday afternoon. My soul and spirit, however, are pretty broken up right now, so I am going to take a few days of quiet and if I don't answer the phone or emails, it's simply because I just can't talk right now.

Any of us who have loved, and lost, a beloved pet understand viscerally what Miriam went through with Hootie during those final months. A chaotic time offering a confusing mixture of dread, cascading happy memories, despair, and small moments of joy squeezed out of the mundane and ordinary times shared between a dog and his human. 

A week later, Miriam’s emotions were still raw and she shared the pain and the hurt publicly.

4.8.20: My dear sweet Hootie. How very much I miss you. I try not to even think about you even a teeny bit because then my heart breaks all over again. But I can’t help it. I love and miss you so very very much.

Hootie’s final gift to Miriam - and to all of us who followed his journey - was a vivid reminder of the worth of quiet companionship. He taught us that we don’t need to be exceptional to be exceptionally important to those who love us. We are not remembered for being the fastest, or flashiest, or for winning Best in Show. 

We are remembered and celebrated because of the love we gave and the love we received in return. Hootie's unequivocal love was the true measure of his life and time with Miriam.

In the end, Hootie needed to be nothing more than a good, good dog. And that was everything in the world to those who loved him.